Your safety and mental health can be greatly affected by your relationships. Your relationship with your partner is a very close and intimate type of relationship and has a lot of potential for destructive behaviors. Knowing how to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship is crucial to your long-term health and safety. At Lotus Wellness Center we can help you identify these warning signs.

Lack of Support 

When most people think of abuse, they think of physical abuse. The truth is, though, abuse can come in many different forms. The most common type of abuse in a romantic relationship is a lack of support. This could manifest as a lack of:

  • Financial support
  • Emotional support
  • Family and home life support

Partners are supposed to partner together on all of the different aspects of running a home and raising a family. If your partner is leaving all of these things to you and not providing that crucial support, it is an unhealthy dynamic. Counseling in Palatine, IL could help.

Verbal Abuse

Another type of abuse that is often looked over, is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is tricky because when couples are fighting, negative things are said usually by both parties. People often struggle with knowing how to differentiate between a “normal” fight or argument and legitimate verbal abuse. Understanding the difference is crucial to your mental health and the health of the relationship. Verbal abuse manifests as:

  • Devaluing the other person
  • Intimidation
  • Manipulation
  • Using kindness later to cover the abuse
  • Lying about abusive behavior
  • Excusing abusive behavior
  • Blaming the other person for their abusive behavior

Remember, you can have a fight without verbal abuse. If it seems strange to you that a couple could have a fight that did not include any of the items mentioned above, that is probably a sign that verbal abuse is a regular part of your relationship.

Lack of Trust

If your partner has continuously given you reasons not to trust them, then you will feel insecure in the relationship. This will eventually take a toll on your mental health. It is the responsibility of each partner, to be honest, and transparent so that trust can grow and thrive. When the other partner continuously behaves in dishonest and untrustworthy ways it is a very subtle form of abuse. Couples therapy can sometimes help to rebuild this crucial trust.  Our team at Lotus Wellness Center can help with counseling in Palatine, IL.

Relationship Challenges Can Be Impactful

Struggling within your relationship can not only be stressful but lonely. If you and your partner are at odds, it’s almost certain that challenges within the relationship are impacting you as an individual as well. There are a plethora of reasons that may have brought you and your partner to where you are today. However, you can take action by working with a couples therapist. We can help by leveling the playing field so that both of you feel heard, deepen your intimacy and learn skills to more effectively managing the challenges that arise within your relationship.

Whether You and Your Significant Other Need Therapy

Taking the first step toward fixing your relationship can be incredibly difficult. Not only do you understand that something needs to be fixed between the two of you, but you might need professional help to do so. So, how do you know if it’s time to seek help from our office? It can be hard to make the choice to go to couples counseling. When you make that choice, it can feel like you are admitting that something is wrong in your partnership or that things aren’t going well. It can also be confusing if you do not know what to expect or how to get the process started. You both must decide to go, you have to figure out if insurance will cover it, you have to commit to a time that fits everyone’s schedules, and you want to like your counselor. All of these things together can seem daunting.

If you and your partner are unsure of whether couples counseling is right for you, below you will find a series of statements that can help point you in the right direction.

Trust has been broken. Many times, couples will attend therapy because there is a need to overcome some breach of trust. This breach of trust can come in many forms, including emotional affairs with another person, infidelity through a sexual affair, or even lies regarding family finances. Whatever the breach of trust was, it can be very hard to rebuild. However, counseling can help rebuild that foundation of trust so that both parties can begin establishing the base of trust to work on their relationship.
Communication is lacking. Perhaps you feel like there is a communication divide with your partner. It seems that you have no idea what is going on in their work life or what your partner is feeling lately. You might even believe that what you say or feel is often ignored or even misunderstood. Counseling offers a safe space for both parties to talk freely about their thoughts and feelings. It can be a place to help you reconnect and truly listen to one another.

You argue about the same thing. Over and over again. This one might not seem like a big deal. Every couple has fights. But the occasional fight can turn into nagging and begrudging. Have you told him that those mugs are hand wash only and can’t go in the dishwasher? Why is he loading them in there again? Perhaps you’ve told her that you are tired of her getting home from work late when the kids are already asleep and the food you prepared is cold. One of the greatest issues here is that the way you are communicating could be wrong for the person you are trying to communicate with. Does it seem like you have more conflicts in your life instead of joyous moments? These conflicts could take the form of smaller arguments or disagreements littered throughout the day, or huge fights that leave you seething or in tears. While arguing or disagreeing with your significant other is nothing out of the ordinary, and increase in these arguments or not being able to remember the last time you weren’t fighting is a sign you should visit a counselor.

You hold onto grudges. All relationships have problems. Words have been said that cannot be taken back. Perhaps you are projecting this relationship perfection you see on social media on your relationship and it isn’t living up to those standards. Whatever the grudge is, it is a result of being unable to talk through past differences and feelings to come out stronger on the other side. This can greatly sabotage a relationship.

You would rather do anything else than have sex. You might feel that the emotional intimacy (or the “spark”) is gone. Perhaps you are both having sexual issues. This could be seen as going from frequent and regular sex to irregular or no sex. Emotionally you might feel incompatible or like you are both growing apart. Palatine, IL counseling can help pinpoint the problems in these areas and discuss ways that they can be rebuilt. When your partner tries to make a move on you, you might come up with any excuse not to have sex. Or perhaps it’s the other way around and you don’t understand where the spark went. If there has been a large decline in your sexual relationship and physical affection, there’s usually more at the root of the problem than being tired or sick all the time.

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