Therapist In Palatine, IL
You might feel very frustrated, confused, and hopeless when you talk to your partner about seeing a Therapist In Palatine, IL at Lotus Wellness Center, and they outright refuse to give it a second thought. You might have tried to address issues in the relationship, read self-help books, talked about the problems with close friends, and continued to get into fights with your partner anyway. Now perhaps you have decided you would like to give couples counseling a try. Maybe you brought the idea up with your partner, who then got upset and refuses to go.
First and foremost, as an IL Therapist In Palatine may explain, you cannot force someone to do something they don’t want to do. Even if you lay out ultimatums, your partner may feel forced and be less inclined to remain open to the idea of couples counseling. The best way to fix this problem is to understand why your partner is not keen on couples counseling.
There are many different reasons for not wanting to go to couples counseling sessions; however, the following are the most common:
- They are afraid the therapist will blame them for the problems in the relationship.
- They are worried that you and the therapist will gang up on them.
- They are convinced that only you need help.
- They believe you are the reason there are problems in the relationship.
- They don’t want to face the pain that may arise in the sessions.
- They feel there are no issues and couples counseling won’t help.
- They worry that couples counseling will only encourage you to end the relationship
Addressing these Concerns
We acknowledge that going to a couples counseling session with a Palatine Therapist at Lotus Wellness Center takes strength and determination, and anything that involves these actions may come along with some doubt or nervousness. There is a tactic to help address these barriers that may be holding you or your partner back from working through the problems in your relationship:
Take some time to sit down and talk about what you can get out of couples counseling, how the sessions may help you both to be better partners, and why you would like your partner to participate in the sessions.
During this conversation, remember that it isn’t about blame, and that you are just two people involved in a committed relationship who want to make it work. With this in mind, it is important to note that each one of you may be contributing to the problems in a certain way – through patterns that you might not even realize you had. For example, we may discuss during couples counseling in Palatine, IL that your partner might be communicating with you in a negative way that makes you feel unheard. How you respond to his or her behavior may also not be healthy or conducive to the dialogue.
An Illinois Therapist can help both of you learn and utilize tools that will assist in improving your behavior and the relationship as a whole. Tell your partner how much the relationship means to you and that you would like to make it better. Make sure your partner understands how important it is to have them be a part of this.
Bare in mind that this discussion should not be revolving around blaming or taking responsibility for one anothers’ behaviors. Rather it should involve you explain to your partner that you are open and willing to change things for the better. If your partner still refuses to go to couples counseling, you can always go to individual counseling sessions to start. To learn more, call a Therapist in Palatine, IL at Lotus Wellness Center as soon as at least one of you is ready.